flying all de way to Paradise

new pic for hele

2012-02-04T10:04:00.000-08:00

new pic

2011-12-31T14:25:00.000-08:00

Not listening to Elder's advise means losing out

2008-08-25T00:26:00.001-07:00

A close cousin of mine knew my current status and came to look me up. Got a good lecture from him because he says i'm following his footsteps. He says that i'm lucky enough to be a singaporean and being educated because a lot of people in malaysia do not have the chance to work in singapore. He feels that my mentality is not driven or say money driven enough. What he says is right, my mentality is still very playful and happy go lucky. So today i gave out all my best to find a job regardless of pay because it beats sitting at home and when i'm writing this blog now, there are actually 2 companies that called me up for an interview. There must be angels watching me now, i will not let everyone and myself down.

My Current Life

2008-08-24T22:52:00.000-07:00

Its been years since i last blog. Perhaps i don't feel as motivated these days compared to the past. A lookback of events that happen these few years

After completed national services, I decided to work in a industry that is related to what i studied in the ITE. Been there for four months and i met a lot of wonderful people. I met a lot of wonderful people out there. The job is tough but the learning experience is very rewarding. They advise me that i should not stop upgrading and improving myself and urge that i should go for higher studies.

This photo is taken in MDIS. Yup i have decided to upgrade myself afterall. The course i am taking is Travel and Hospitality management in Mdis. These people in the picture are kind, friendly and fun to be with. This period of time i'm very relax because i feel that it help me get away the painful douse of reality of the society which is money and career. Studying is always better than working.

Finally graduated from MDIS. So happy i still get to meet my friends sometimes. But things will be different now because everyone needs to drop off that relaxing mentality and gaining a foothold in the frank and realistic society. I had been to some job interviews and got some jobs. But i could'nt stay for long because i had lost the persistancy i had gain back in the army. What really happen to me??? There was once this fortune teller told my mum that if i don't change my current name, my future will be idleing around doing nothing. I'm always half hearted towards Fortune teller's predictions and i always got angry when my mum remind me of this. But now i'm starting to get afraid...

Wait FoR Me, I'll CoMe BacK AgaIN

2006-12-10T22:21:00.000-08:00

Finally our Hard work has finally Paid off...

And its time for Enjoyment=)

This Place is Liu Fu Chun Entertainment park.

It had a lot of spine chilling rides that cannot be

found in singapore. Its was just like a fairyland. If

its cooler it will be more perfect.

This is Yamay Discovery centre. This is the first

amusment park of our trip. I Tested my limits as

i challenge the most exciting ride in taiwan, The

Derail roller coaster. I almost wet my pants after

that ride...

I Love Xi MeN DinG!!!

This Place is just like our local orchard road with

lots of pretty sights regardless of human or stuffs!

It has lots of stuff that u can shop but

disappointing prices which is the same as

singapore....

Taiwan Girls Are really Pretty and sweet=)

A Life Experience

2006-12-10T21:22:00.000-08:00

Its been 4 months since i blogged. I almost forgot i own a blog. Things had been keeping me busy throughout this 4 months, Now i can finally find peace =)

On september, we headed to taiwan for training. It was morning when we touched down taiwan. The place is splendid. Its totally different from singapore and its unique in its own way. The only thing is that its really warm and its around 34 degree celcius...

We took a mini coach to our camp in taiwan and most of my friends are sleeping. I couldnt sleep, Just couldnt hide my excitment and anxiety as the bus went on...

We reach Our Camp around 4am... It was totally different from the camp i lived in singapore. I should have treasure my days in camp in singapore more ha ha... Its like so cramped up but the good thing about it is the air is fresh and i could see plantations around us. We went to take our breakfast and each one of us had a chicken burger and 1 soya bean. Its delicious! Its better then ramly and burgerking!!!

We settle in our bunk and its like argggh, very cramp and hot. We recce our bunk and find several amulets at the windows. It send a chill down our spines. Things are very different. Each one of us can only bath once in a day because water is being controlled. When throwing our rubbish and also had to throw at respective bins like bins for plastic, can genernal waste etc...

But the best part is the Time when the "Ninja Van" came down to our camp. Ninja Van is a Van full with Snacks,Drinks and all the nice local stuffs. My favourite is the Xiang Ji Pa(Fragrance chicken cultet) and Zhen zhu nai cha(Pearl Tea)!!!

We collected our uniforms and it was like prety huge for us. Its colour and style is quite different to what we wore in singapore, But it certainly make us more GaRaNG(PoweR)...

The Training in taiwan is really tough. We had to endure the harsh conditions of the combination of the terrain and the weather. The temperature was reaching 36degree celcius! We had to go out the hill to clear our objectives. It would be a mountain if it was present in singapore.

During a part of training i suffered heat exhaustion. My head hurts and there's a giddy sensation.

I was dripped 4 times on my arm and i was extremly painful. The needle just would not totally go in my arm. I losted some blood as a result but thanks to my platoon medic, who kept letting me squeeze his hand ha ha...

After 12 days of training in the field, it finally ended... My conclusion?

I would never do it again....

But i'll remember it forever.....

Don't let it be a dream...

2006-07-27T12:29:00.000-07:00

The relationship with her had end around a year ago because of lack of trust and understanding...
For one year we had remain normal friends. Sometimes we would message each other through phone but throughout this 1 year, we had never chat on the phone before. Sometimes when i miss her voice and wanted to call her, she would not answer my call. She is someone who prefers to chat in text messages. No matter how hard i tried to persuade her, my efforts would go down in vain...

Sometimes i could get pretty lucky because when his brother asked me for a movie, she would join too. Felt very happy to see her. But when i asked her out alone with me, she would always decline. Its pretty hurtful and disappointing at times. I tried to ask her for a patchup, but she would always avoid my question...
It comes a time when she finally answered my question. She said she got no more feelings for me. My heart felt sour...

I tried to contact her less and eventually, we lost contact for several month till one day when she finally message me. She asked me which movie is nice and i tried to ask her for a movie 1 last time. I could not believe it wherby she agreed readily. I was really happy...
I told her that the tickets will be on me and she said since i treat her a movie, she would treat me a cup of popcorn. She was so sweet...

She asked me if that day if a girl ask me out, will i go out with her?

My answer is "i will only watch movie with you, not anyone else"....

I asked her the same question, and she replied" i promise to only go movie with you"...

We watch pirates of the carribean, its our first movie together... The show was hilarious as we laughed our heads off. My hands began to feel numb because of the coldness in the theatre. I wished i could just hold her hand throughout the show...

After the movie we settle down in a fast food restaurant wherby i confess my feelings to her. I tried to hold her hands but she avoided me. I felt so regret for what i actually did. She was quiet throughout and did not give me an answer. I went back to camp after we parted ways...

We continue to message eachother and when i decided to ask her for a patchup for the last time, she agreed... I love the feeling when she called me "my dear"

I really could not believe what had happen, it seems like a dream, But i really does not wish its a dream... I really love her

A Dream...

2006-07-09T05:29:00.000-07:00

This picture is my favourite thatI just wanna share with everyone.
Innocent,sweet. Sometimes i yearned to have a girlfriend that grew up together with me.
Because innocence can only be found in childhood days. . .
Its a sad thing that innocent feeling is disappearing when one grows older.
Innocence is A beauty

Yearned to fly....... innocence

DaRk CloUdS AbOvE mY HeaD

2006-06-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

This one month had been kinda dreadful...

The first bad thing is i could not follow my platoon for duties at changi airport. I had to be attached to another platoon. At place is just crappy. Initially i thought i could mix well with the other group of people, but as time goes by, their true colours come out gradually. I know that i am someone who do not go by the rules, some one who tests the system. Maybe they are afraid that i might get them into deep trouble... I knew that they are talking behind my back, but i did not confront them... A guy that i had know for 3 years who is in tHAT platoon is also doing the same thing. But a good thing is i'm not really close with him as i do not really liked him. I think he is just a selfish and realistic "midget"

How i misses my Platoon.....

World cup World cup, really wanna make some money out of it. I'm not a gambler nor a hard cored punter but i will normally place my bets during the world cup.. Unfortunately my luck is not so good as i lost quite an amount of money. I had this "Good Friend" whom i think is very unlucky! what ever match he bet with me, we ended up losing. Yesterday i already recouped my losses but i wanna try i out on Czech Rep. I ended losing all my winnings... This "good Friend" told me he back out of that match in the last minute. Darn i thought, why he did not tell me? I thought we will be together? At least if he told me i might back out also... A real GooD Friend that i had Know for almost A deCaDe

Just Now I try My lucK on CroaTia, Damn it! I lose again... While i was already fustrated, That "GooD FrIeND" cAlled me and asked if i had place any bets.. I told him i bought Croatia and hE lauGhed His HeaD off. Happy Huh... VerY HaPpY RiTe My "GoOd FrIeND"

Been quiting smoking for quite sometime, guess i'll start again....

CigaRette AppEarS to Be a BeTtER FrIenD

Yearn to fly.......

A blog finally completed..

2006-05-13T23:22:00.000-07:00

Actually i should have blog this a long time ago. Just that i realise i did not know what to write towards de end...
I came to know her about a year ago. We knew each other in a online game called the habbohotel.
She established a gang called de mid night gang. Those days were fun :)
The gang had an outing on sentosa and its fun. The leader of the gang is Fus :)

After a month after a outing, i had to fufiled the expectations of every singapore male, got to be enlisted in the national service. I lost contact with them for around half a year till i called Fus on da phone. I was so worried that i my toungue will be all tied up. Luckily it did not happen and the conversation went on kinda smoothly.

We met up again and fus is with planet and kuro, two members from the Mid night gang. When they saw me, i was greeted with warm Friendship Hugs. But when Fus hugged me, a strange feeling lingers in my mind, i felt hot in my face and i realise i am blushing. :P
We had dinner together and went to have a chat after that.
I came to know something more about them. These girls are funny and they r kinda awesome. Know what? They are trying to lift eachother. I was like erm.. "Shocked"
Think they trying to get in the wrestling woman's division.
To my horror they tried to lift me up also. God...

The outing was a nice one but wild thoughts filled up my mind. Could i have fallen for Fus?

Months passed but this question kept roaming in my thoughts. Till one day i took the initiative to called up Fus. We had a nice long chat which made me felt kinda reluctant to hang up de call.
Yeah i found i answer to my Qusetion, i had indeed fallen for her...
I send her a message about how i felt for her, Because i had let his question drag for ages.

She Replied "I do not admit i had good feelings for you too" :)

We finally got together and i invited her to my nephew's birthday party in a chalet. Other members of the mid night gang joined too. Its been ages since everyone met up, quite a happy occasion especially with Fus around. She was very beautiful on that day and i introduced her to my mum :)

We played Some games outside Mcdonald's in the wee hours consisting of police and thief and da Indian poker.. But these lighted hearted games do not come easy as the loser had to drink something really "hell"

This mixture is concort of Twisties, banana milk, chocolate chips, Potato chips, and green tea...
We all got to drink this terrible stuff and it taste exactly like sewage.
During one particular moment that i hit the unlucky strike. I kept losing and i drank the stuff with a twisted face. I realise i could not take it any more as my stomach starts making noise. Fus came to my rescue and she helped me to drink the horrible thing. I was feeling very touched...

Planet puked up outside mcdonald's while kuro and Fus helped me to the toilet which i became the mobile "merlion"

Time for us to go home as they get their stuff at the room. Luckily planet wants to bath and that allows me to have more time with Fus. We shared a long hug and.... lol
It was a lovely moment for me....

But things do not get so smoothly because of my National service duties and her job. Our time just could not tally. Sometimes when i wanna meet her, she couldnt make it as she need to company a friend. I was like "disappointed" as time passes by. I began to think long and hard.
Maybe we had been friends for too long and we broke up. But one good thing is things did not go sour and we are still good friends. But Tutu will still love Fus

Yearn to fly...

2 Animals that is able to reach the summit of the Paramid

2006-05-06T22:56:00.000-07:00

There are 2 animals that is able to reach the top of the paramid

The Eagle and Snail..

The Eagle had Strong wings that will let it fly where ever it wants...

The snail's persistance and "never give up" mindset can let it reached the top of the paramid too

Too bad in life, People always wanna be the eagle, always wanna soared up high.

Little people would wanna be the Snail...

Into the world of fairy tales...

2006-05-06T22:42:00.000-07:00

Everytime when i surf the net, I will be looking for flashes of songs. Compared to mtvs, flash is more cute and sincere. We can let our imaginations run wild. As for me, day dreaming is a everyday aftermeal session. I do not have big dreams, but i always dream of finding a friend that i knew when i was a kid. I like her since primary 1. I think the feeling i had for her is the purest feeling i ever had. No thoughts, no sweet words and stuff, just a pure feeling that came from a child.

Xiao hui,

Hope u still remember me....

Remember those days when we always play catching with our friends after our tution classes?

I miss those days seriously.....

Yearn to fly, a wish....

A Sleepness Night...

2006-04-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

Its 3.44am. Juz could not sleep... Browsed through friendster and saw a friend i had a lot of story with. Or i should say ex friend, classmate,or school mate? i don't know myself. Used to like her a lot when we were in ite. Encounter a lot with her, sharing my up and downs with her. Always thinking of her every now and then in the past and i thought we had go beyond "close friends"
I have to thank her, because of her, i manage to exceed in my mathematics that i kept failing through my 12 years of education. She is the one who make me feel that studying could be an enjoyable thing to do.
I always look forward to go to school because the thought of getting to see her makes me feel very happy. Very motivated back then...
Sometimes we will chat on phone till the next morning and when we see each other in school, its quite a funny sight as both of us are like panda...
Did not ended up together even though i really like her. So i thought we would be close friends again.
2nd year of my ite life. Different class with her and i discovered my results flunged terribly. I dared not imagine what kind of results i got. Freaked out when i saw my certificate haahs.....

She got into a poly where i went into the army.

This is when everything changes........

I hardly hear from her since she got into poly. I called her and she says she is very busy. I believed her and appears understanding to her but as time goes on, i found that in this 10 months, she never contact me before. whenever i called her, she appears very cold towards me and sometimes she will say she is doing other stuff.

I began to be disheartened. Where had the close friend i had gone to. It made me realise the fact that she is now considered a class higher than me. I should have known that. I am just an ITE student. Close friends? I take back my words.....

The fact just sux...........

Yearn to fly............

BacK aT lAsT

2006-04-14T04:24:00.000-07:00

Its been such a long time since i blog in. Feel kinda lazy in blogging in recently because the series of events that happen to me is really too much to describe in words. Just fix a new song and a new layout for my blog, hope u guys will like it.
Starting from now, my target is to blog once in a week, because we should look towards the future and not ponder about the past right?

Yearn to fly........

ICSB 32km March( The March of Infantry Pride)

2005-12-16T19:16:00.000-08:00

Undergoing the trip to hell...

I could not sleep.. When i saw my friends beside me, They were all sleeping soundly. We are only allowed 4 hours to sleep before the 32km road march. I tried very hard to sleep, but i could not. I started to get worried. How am i gonna survive the hellicious march if i did not get adequate rest? I twist and turned on my bed until the last 45 minutes, i finally feel asleep...

Before going down to assemble, i gathered some of my friends to smoke in the toilet. I can see all of them are feeling pressured. I wished all of us would not give up. May god help us to survive through the ordeal...

We reached pulau tekong and the safety officer gave us a briefing for the march. We are suppose to complete every four kilometer within 45 minutes. We are really shock to hear that. I began to worry. I am not a tall person, How am i gonna catch up with others. If i could not catch up with my platoon mates, I will drag the whole platoon down. The idea of giving up loomed in my mind for once...

4KM

Before the march commence, my platoon sergeant told us if we really could not take it, we just break the light stick and throw by the side of the road. He said its better not to drag the whole platoon down if we really could not catch up...

Just when we about to go, our officer conducted a 1 minute prayer, praying for our safety, will to push on and praying for 1 of our friend that could not join us because his grandmother was admited to the hospital...

The march starts as we march off. . .

The pace is really too fast. I found myself running just to catch up. The load i am carrying is far too heavy. Its about 25 to 30kg load on my back. Its really very tiring. They told me not to run, just open up my steps. I tried to keep my steps wide, But i still could not catch up. I really done my best. Thats the best i could do. Tiress and the strain in my leg started to wear me down instantly. I told myself to push on, but it seems i had already reached my limit. I started to slow down with my head lowering down. I began to feel giddy. Some hands were pulling me and some hands are pushing me forward. The hands are the hands of my friends. They kept encouraging me to push on. When i finally reach the 4km rest point, i was totally shagged out.....

My shin felts miserable. Its really painful. Sergeant Jimmy massage my leg, i shouted in pain. He kept encouraging me, and he said that if i did not give up, every 4 km he would give me a massage. I was very touched by what he said...

My good buddy jesson was also very tired. We are the only ones who kept that kept running just to catch up. It was really a painful experience for both of us. Every road march we would always be together because we are of the same height and we are the shortest in the platoon. Before the march we had already discuss the idea of falling out because we don't wanna drag the whole platoon down... We completed the 1st 4km march within 33 minutes instead of 45 minutes. Thats really a great achievment by all of us...

15 minutes of rest time had past as we continue on...

8KM

The speed of the march is getting faster. I began to start running once again. The thought of falling out starts to roam wildly in my mind. I began to feel very giddy and starting to gasp for breath. I looked around for jesson, but he is nowhere to be found. He was my only motivation then. I started to blame myself for being so useless.

My Brain starts to lost control over my hands as i take out the lightstick from my side pocket.

I began to tear the plastic sheet of the light stick.

Terence snatched the light stick from me and shouted at me " Hey what you think you are doing!!"

I persuade him to give me back my light stick but to no avail. He passed the light stick to ah boon. I began pleading. I was really feeling very guilty because the rate i'm marching, i will drag the whole platoon to failure. I began to take the light stick back away from ah boon and just when i'm gonna succeed, he snatched back and shouted" No I Can'T Give It To You!!

Have you forgot the promise you made to yourself???"

I was feeling very miserable.... The whole platoon starts encouraging me as they held on my arm and made me drag my feet....

Along the way, i saw some of my platoon mates started to throw up. They looked really pale... After those hell defying moments, we finally reached our rest point.....

We got to know that some of our platoon mates had already gave up the hell defying march, and that includes jesson... I felt quite sad that they gave up. My sergant told us that jesson is on his way to the medic and told us that he left something for us. It was a can of red bull and a snicker bar. Sergant also told us that jesson really tried his very best...

Ah boon knew that i was feeling very sad and he told me that we should complete their wishes for them, because the reason why they gave up is because they do not want to drag us down. I knew that jesson really wanna complete the march

To Be ConTinued.......

Yearn to fly

Preparing for the trip to hell...

2005-12-11T10:22:00.000-08:00

This coming thursday i will be going through the 32km road march in pulau tekong.

I really do not know weather i can withstand it. It was the toughest challenge in my

Army life...

I went through a lot of hardship during the last 2 months. I always thought field camp

is very tough, considered it a nightmare. But in the blinking of an eye, i had already been

thru 4 field camp...

I really thought of giving up sometime. But my friends in Army kept pushing forward.

If not for them, I think my mentality will breakdown sooner or later...

But no matter where i go, My friend encouragement will always be with me

"You are not a boy scout, You are a soldier"

May god be with us...

Yearn to fly......

Life is Vulnerable

2005-12-11T10:15:00.000-08:00

When i saw the wrestling program yesterday, I found that eddie guerrero died...

Its so sudden.. Everybody was crying. He just died in his sleep. He Has such a colourful character in the wwe. He brought joy and laughter to many people in this world. I felt sad

when i saw his tribute. He is only 38. . .

Life is so vulnerable. We can pass away anytime. Treasure every moment we got, because

we do not know what will happen to us...

Learning to Give up is one of the most toughest task in life

2005-11-01T01:24:00.000-08:00

The end of a story.....

I am with her for 3 months... This three months made me realise that she had stood firmly in my heart.. Her parents were wonderful as they really treat me as a part of their family. Everything had gone smoothly but too bad this had to end...

During the first month, She told me she liked a particular guy very much. I felt quite sad at the beginning... But she assure me that she would forget the guy. Initially she was someone who does not care about people feelings. But she changed because of me. She turned into a girl that will care for other people. She smoked at the beginning. But later she quit. I wonder is it because of me...

One thing she really touch my heart...

Everynight we would chat, but i always could not accompany her for long as i need to sleep early because of the the tough training i had to face the next day. She began to say things to agitate me. I was wondering why she did that and we often end up in quarrel. Her brother told me the reason why she did that is because she wanna talk to me longer. I realise i had wronged her...

During my live firing, i told her i will not be back to camp till late night. I told her that i cannot call her. But she say no matter how late, she would wait for me...

i remember it was 4 am when i reach camp from the live firing. I decide to message her...

She replied and we chat on the phone once again. At that moment i felt i really miss her.

During the next day her mum called me and said that my girlfriend was not feeling well. She can't get up from the bed. The doctor said her white blood cells were more than her red blood cells.. She could leave me anytime as her life wss hanging in the balance. Her mum also told me that because she wanna wait for my call, she refuse to take a wink... I felt my eyes became weary, tears are circling my pupils... I am really touched...

Tears that makes me wonder...

During our second month, She told me about the guy she loved very much again. She told me they guy really attract her a lot. I felt kinda sour when i heard it. She even told me the intimate moments we spend with that guy. And she will always talk till big drop of tears came rolling down her eyes. I consoled her... I thought she weep because of me and i was wrong... She never weep for me before. All the tears is for that guy... I felt really sad...

When i am in the camp, she told me she wanna find the guy. I can tell she really miss him... I encourage her to find him as he was working in a particular shop. After hours of talking to her, she finally decide to meet him... My heart seems to bleed.......

I decide to leave her, but she said the guy will not accept her. When i heard her words, i find that she was treating me like float that can save her in the stormy waves. I told her i find it hard to accept someone that loves somebody else...

In the end she assured me once again and said that she would not mention about him anymore. Although i knew she still thinks of him, i had to accept it because i really loved her a lot....

The final part of a story that should not had began...

These 3 months with her, my friends around me said i had changed.. I had lost my shine. I seem to succumb in a place full of stress and sorrow. I seldom laugh, in fact i felt i had lost my smile because i am stressed about this relationship most of the time...

Everytime i booked out, i really wanna meet her. But everytime i meet her, she had to go very fast. I felt everything had change. She would always accompany me for quite some time. But everyweek her feelings towards me had turn colder and colder. Everytime i message her, she will take a very long time to reply me back. It had never been like that in the past. I ask her the reason and everytime her answer will be " cause u r busy" and " don't think too much"...

I realise we are drifting apart...

My 1 week holiday finally came and i thought this could be the best time for us to be together...

She appears very cold toward me, this is out of my imagination... The time we spend together are even lesser. I told her about our time spend together is not enough and she said that i am selffish... we talk over on the phone and i lost my cool because she seemed not to care about anything. Why everything turned out this way....

I meet her out yesterday and we i try to hold her hands, she kept shunning me. This had got to far, I simply could not believe she was my sweet beloved girlfriend i had known... We talk for an hour and she said she wanna go home. I sent her home and when i wanna give her a goodbye hug, she pushed me away... That push made me wake up....

I meet her out today together with my friend and her brother. We pass by the shop the guy was working in. I took her hands and encourage her to find the guy. She refuse but she ran to one corner just to catch a glismpe of that guy. It was a very long glismpe. I could see love in her eyes... I accompany her to grab a bite and i told her this could be our last meeting. I told her i could not be her boyfriend anymore. She ask me why and i lie to her saying that i do not love her anymore... She just nod and continue eating her noodles... I felt shattered........

We went to the arcade and play few games of pool together with her brother and my friend. She appears to be very normal. But i appear to be very quiet... After the game her brother and me decide to go home. Suddenly she said she wanna go a place and she just went off. It was the same floor that the guy is working. Although i did not saw where she is going, but i guess she went to the shop that the guy is working...

I am very sad now... I keep control my fingers from pressing the phone number. In the end i message her brother and beg him to take good care of his sister. I also ask him to help me say sorry to his mother...

Some things are never meant to be.........

Yearn to fly.....................

A new glimmering Hope.....

2005-08-20T19:47:00.000-07:00

I got to know this girl through my platoon mate as the girl was her younger sister. She seems nice when we started to chat through phone messaging. But she was someone who do not really wanna chat through the phone no matter how i asked her. But although i never seen her before, i started to have weird feelings about her which i don't know why. Days past and she suddenly send me a message saying she missed me. I was in a shock to see that, wondering if she really meant it. I had to be cautious in love now cause i am deeply hurt before. I really hope she meant it.....

There was one night where we had to sleep very early in the bunk. We were thus given only 10 minutes of our personal time to call our love ones. I thought of her and i sent her a message saying i really miss her n wish to talk to her. She finally obliged...
Her voice was very sweet, voice which would not allow me to hang down the phone. She seems to be friendly in the phone. Instead of 10 minutw of talk time, i spent around 30 minutes talking to her, hiding under the blanket....

The first Meeting....

We decided to meet after 2 weeks. My heart was in my mouth, i am so nervous... I called her and ask where she was. When i finally saw her, i got a big shock. She is very beautiful with long silky hair..... I went to approach her but when i stood in front of her, i found she is taller than me. My face turned a bright red...
She is a very friendly girl but sometimes looks a bit of blur. When i walk together with her , I dared not stand too close to her, just felt very weird... we had sushi and fried ice cream together and we went to orange julius for some orange juice as we chat for hours.
She is the only girl i know who plays pool well, almost lost to her haha...

The day where i was going back to camp.....

So sad, time seems to past so fast... I really missed her. Her brother called me up and said her sister will be tagging along wih her parents to see my platoon mate off. I was quite happy cause i could get to see her again. When i reach the camp, they had not arrive yet. I felt so disappointed that i could not see her... I try to wait for her, but time does not permit... My friends drag me in camp as they do not wish to see me get into trouble. I felt so sad..... I really hope to see her...........

I saw my platoon mate and he told me that her sister had follow him on the way to camp. I felt so sad as i miss this chance to see her. My platoon mate told me not to be sad as he said that i could see her in a week time. I ask him weather his sister got say anything. He just said her sister looked a bit of disappointed... I really felt bad......

minutes before lights off....

I apologise to her but she did not blame me. It made me feel even worse... I really miss her at that moment. I finally got to know why i have weird feelings. Its love..... I love chatting with her. No matter how tired i am, the tireness in my body cease once i talk to her. We talk for a few days and we decided to meet on saturday.... I felt so happy

Book out day ( Friday )

Finally waited for the day, bookout lo. The first thing that came to my mind is her,,, Really hope to see her on friday and saturday. Although i am greedy, but i could not help myself. Love is greedy haha. I went home as fast as possible... Feel like meeting her. I dressed at my best, wanna have a good impression. My brother and cousin wish me good luck, they feel very happy for me as i found the one i love.....

When i am about to step out of my house, i receive a message from her... She said that it might not be appropraite to go out as it is the fifteen day of hungry ghost festival... I felt so disappointed.... She apologise and it made me even feel worse.... I thought she don't wanna see me. :(

Our second date

I could not sleep... I really wish to tell her i like her. Really felt very tense. Keep wondering what would happen if she reject me. Really very afraid...

We finally met and i decided to bring her to the esplanade. The reason i bring her to the esplanade is because i like the place there, it calms me down whenever i went there. We had a long chat there...

Soon i really could not hide the strong feelings inside me anymore. After all the slutters and delays, i told her i like her...

She told me she had good feelings for me as much as i did and thats how we got together.

Its just a dream, hope i would not wake up from this dream......

Yearn to fly.....

Fire flies....

2005-08-09T01:42:00.000-07:00

It was around 4 plus in the morning, i could not sleep. One more hour i will be packing up and preparing to go to field camp in Pulau Tekong...aid

I am worried, stress and frighthen... I am afraid that i could not take the stress. When i am in the fastcraft to the way to pulau Tekong, I began look around me. One followed by one, it was the faces of unwillingness around me.

We reached our destination, just felt my legs are stucked to the ground. Really don't feel like moving at all. We began our field camp with a four kilometre road march. Our field pack is approximately 12 to 15 kilogrames. To our dismay we had to had around 5 kilogrames combat rations to our heavy load. Our full battle order including Helmet, Sar21, SBO and field pack, it was around 35 kilogrames.

The March seemed endless. My vision blured under the scorching sun, My back ached because of all the heavy load. I felt helpless, really helpless.. I began to pray...
My friends helped me along the way, without them i think i would had collasped...

We reach our Camp site. Darn i felt hungry... I began to open the combat rations to feed my complaining stomach. A very awful and disturbing smell came out. I almost threw up.. Imagine you have lotus seed soup or lousy chicken rice kept in a packet whicih you have no idea how long it was kept. You would not want to eat those things. I bet even a dog would reject those food...
I ate plain biscuits for 3 meals......

We began to put camouflage cream our faces. Green and black faces are all around me, it was quite a comical sight. But when you began to perspire, it would not be funny anymore...
We hate lectures the most, really feel like sleeping... But if we were caught sleeping, we would have to be punish. Like doing pushups with 35 kilogrames load on your back.

We began our firing. it was fun... But we were often scolded because we enjoy ourselves to the firing... We carried on this kind of life for 3 days until heaven decide to rain....
It was really demoralising when the rain arrived. Mud was everywhere. How are we going to sleep with all those mud around? Our things are all cover with mud patches as we proceed out training.

I forgot to tell you guys about the powder bath. For 6 days, we are not allowed to bath. We are only allowed to shower ourselves with powder that must cover every part of our body...
After this powder bath, we must queue up to let our instructers check us. If fail, we had to powder and re-queue again...

Sleeping conditions were... i do not know how to describe... We were afraid of scorpions and centipedes that were watching us secretly... Our bed was just a thin sheet of groundsheet. we had to laid it on the forest ground that were cover with potholes and merciless small stones...
I would not forget that night when sounds of flashbangs and flares shook me up. we destroy our tents and packed our stuffs. It was a suprise attack by our instructers. We were in a very bad and lousy mood, we had no time to pack our stuff. I began to heard all my platoon mates quarrelling among each other. I began to saw our true colours coming out......

We laid down on the grasses after a long hard day... I ask my friend. "do you miss home?" My friend replied: " i really cannot wait to go home, I really wanna go home"
We began to feel the soft wind and seeing the gentle swaying trees. It was a relaxing sight... After some time we saw green little lights above our heads. It was the fireflies... I had never seen so much fireflies in my life... We looked in disbelief. Its just like a dream......

The fireflies represent glimmering hope...........................

Yearn to fly.............

The first song during the darkest moment

2005-07-09T23:46:00.000-07:00

Training to be solider
Fight for our land...
Once in a life
Two years of our time...
Have you ever wonder
Why must we serve
Because we love our land
And we want it to be free
To be free....
Yah!!!

Stand up, and be on our guard
Come on everybody, do your part
Come on every solider, soul and heart
Do it for our nation
Do it for our Singapore....
Yah!!!

Looking all around us
People everywhere
Children having fun
While we are holding gun
Have you ever wonder
Why must we serve
Because we love our land
And we want it to be free
To be free...
Yah!!!

A new life....

2005-07-08T06:18:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since i wrote post my blog, been kinda busy recently with some army stuff... its been a month since i serve my country... Army life is kinda tough, but if life is not tough in the army, then i does not derserved to be called a solider...

The story of the spartan (protectors of peace)

10/06/2005
5.25am

I could not sleep no matter how hard i try... 2 more hours i will head to the army camp. I began to look around me, my comfortable bed, the walls, the pictures in my room and my soundly-asleeped cousin. I felt sad at the moment... I am gonna leave my family n friends. That feeling is real awful...

6.30am

I heard my mum calling me outside my room... time for me to pack up my belongings... When the moment my parents saw me, i saw sadness in their eyes...
They made breakfast for me when i steped out of the bathroom. Breakfast never tasted so great before. . .

8.00am

I reached the camp... Time for me to leave my civilian life. I surrendered my id card. 2 years later i will get you back, i promise...
I waited for 2 hours in the hall... felt kinda sleepy inside... Its time for all the NS enlistees to proceed for the Vow ceremony. After the vow we are declared as a spartan, which is the protector of peace...

After the ceremony, we get to see our parents. My parents and my sister was happy to see me. They bought Nasi Lemak for me and we had some chat. After 20 minutes of chat, a sergeant came and told me that i had to proceed to the hair cutting session. I told my mum and said i will see u all later. But the fact is the sergeant tricked me. Maybe he don't want me to feel sad...

My family waved frantically at me when they are about to leave the camp, but i did'nt notice them... When my sister saw me leaving with my platoon mates, she almost cried... My size was the smallest among them, and it pains her to see me leaving... My mum consoled her as they head out of the camp...

My platoon mates are friendly people. I get along with them very easily... The sergeants are nice people too... But the only one i don't get along with is my platoon sergeant... He is a very stuck up and arrogant guy... It will be hell for us in the future, i thought...

I saw the room where i would be sleeping. Its not bad as i thought. The food there was nice too. But i was given a the upper bed of the double decker bed... :(

I could withstand the tireness in me, i am so sleepy.. I slept and after some time i heard my platoon mates telling me to wake up because the sergeant ask us to fall in... I was so shocked that i jump from the upper deck of the bed to the ground and landed on my butt... haha

to be continued....

yearn to fly...

Eve of Seperation......

2005-06-09T05:16:00.000-07:00

Today is the eve before i go to report 4 Ns tommorow... A lot of things comes to my mind in a split moment. My friends, my family r my major concerns coz they r part n parcel of my life... In this one week before Ns, i think the week i spent is very meaningful perhaps the most meaningful days in my life... let me describe more bout those meaningful days :)
I couldnt sleep, so during 5.00 am i decided to went for a morning jog which i had never done 4 months. Its very tiring but it refreshes me alot. I went home at 6 am and i decided to do some household chores. Its happens only once in a blue moon to see me helping out at home. My mum used to nagged at me becoause i am somehow "lazy" at home. But after i finish the dishes, i sweep the floor and when i reached 4 the mop to mop the floor, My parents r so panicked n keep requesting not to do the chores anymore n ask me to sleep. Thats life, don't u guys agree? :)Let me tell you another " meaningful" day i spent during the week. I took up 2 jobs in just a day. The first job is about catering, where u have to pack the food into the lunch box. Its fun because i get to be with my good friends :) Although its rather tiring, our laughter of joy is the "thing" that keep me going. Although catering is easy, its rather tedious as well. The place is very oily n slippery. When we carried the chicken wings and fish balls, we seemed to be moonwalking like michael jackson-_- The chicken wings r so hot... I melt 2 of my plastic gloves n scalded my hand. But the burning sensation on my hand is somehow trilling as well haha. (think i'm mad already) ^_^
After 3 hours of catering, its finally home sweet home. But when me n my good buddy "zero" reached woodlands, we received an immediate assignment, taking up a job in Bekum island.I guessed that most people do not know the island but the island is nice, just like hawail :)Zero n i encountered too many unlucky moments on the way to Bekum island. But this is not the first time we encounter unlucky stuff, coz our luck is always in the drain. -_-The journey to the ferry is full of obstacles. Could not believe what luck we actually had. It seems like we r playing in an "RPG" game. But to think of that day, its rather cute n fun :)
At Bekum island........Gosh at last we reached our ultimate destination, N we decided to named the island the "chee islands" Because our name starts we "chee"To our astonishment, we saw our tall big manager with a feminine voice. When he saw us he started to hug our shoulders with his his large arms... Zero n me looked at each other in disbelief, we r stuck wif a biggest GAY we ever seen. Thought ths is the ending of out RPG game.
During work...Its the 1st time i worked as a waiter that day. I was very anxious because i have zero experience in the service line. But i began to grow used to the enviroment while i was working. luckily the "gay Manager" put a thumbs up to my performance as a waiter. While i was running around taking orders, zero is washing the dishes. I envied him in the beginning but after an hour, i think my task is more interesting as my colleauges r friendly. I learned a lot on that day, its tiring but its very meaningful...
A shock that almost brought us to hell....After work, the manager invited us for a swim... No way we r going to swim with a "Gay" . we r quite frighthen when he kept asking us to join him in the pool, because he might carry us up n throw us into the pool as me n zero r quite small. But although his voice n actions r weird, he is a very nice guy. He teaches n advise me about aspects in life. He even read my palm and he is in very accurate in that, even zero nodded in agreement when he hears the summary about me.When he is finished with his swimming, he admit that he is actually a gay whom wanted to try a sex change. We r so shocked to hear that but after hearing his story, we felt sorry for him... :(
Time for a rest and i shall write the 2nd part later...

Yearn to fly.......

Although the river had the moon's reflection, u cant touch the moon...

2005-06-05T00:11:00.000-07:00

It had been ages since i wrote in my blog... Jus dunno what to write all of a sudden. The ah gal i mention in my previous post, i admit i like her that time. We had never met b4 and when the day we r supposed to meet came, She seems to be avoiding... I had a feeling of being toyed. But tats ok, i hope u would nt do this to other ppl in da future...

I think i did my exams poorly, i do nt know how come i could nt fight them... All those hard work

had gone to waste... Things jus dun go smoothly...

Having a girlfriend who understands me and obtaining good results, They r jus dreams... just like the moon's reflection....

For the moment family ties is the most important thing to me... Going Ns in the 10th of June, mum seems sad... I am sad too, hope after i come out of Ns, I will be a fully changed person...

Yearn to fly.........

New Hope, New Beginning n Maybe a beginning Of a New Love

2005-05-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

It has been daes since i posted.. juz logged in todae. saw a couple of new messages in my Cbox, felt so touched. Thanks to my good friend Lennon chua,Ju and a Habbo hotel frend Kuroihane...

My exams had started, luckily it had been a smooth ride. Still got a hard subject to tk tomorrow, goto try extra hard... Been studying and burning Mid nite oil throughout de week. De studying week had been tedious 4 me, luckily there is sum 1 supporting me... Without her support, i think i would lose quite a bit of motivation to study... She is my ah girl, someone tat is special to me...

wanna know whu she is? lol wun tell all of u :P I love de colour pink nowadaes lol... bcuz of her....

I had meet up my ex girlfriend 4 a chat daes ago. She told me all my bad pts in de past n becuz of tat our relationship ended... only tat dae i knew tat i was a bad bf... I never eva realise it... It hurts when i knew de truth tat destroy de relationship, of all her ex bf, i'm de worse... Really lose confidence in myself, afraid to start a new relationship...

Look forward to tis saturdae, cuz meeting up wif ah girl... Ah girl, I........

To be continued.....

Yearn to Fly...........

My wishes...

2005-05-08T05:07:00.000-07:00

My examinations are coming... Not prepared at all though.

I looked myself into the mirror... Juz cant believe that de image in de mirror was once a hardworking n persistance student... What happened to me? I really don't know...

I should be feeling nervous now, but how come de looming examinations doesnt seem to daunt me a single bit? I really wished i can find back my fighting spirits... Its love e only thing that can stir up my fighting spirit? I really dont wish love was de answer....

Going to Ns in de 10th of june... Felt kinda stress... Really wished tat i should juz spend de time i have now as fully as i can...

My phone is very quiet today... felt kinda strange. Missed my ex-girlfriend... :(

Hope she would call or message me.. juz could not reach her...

Wished tat she had recover from her flu.... When she is with me, i could not sense her importance. But when she is not around, i really missed her..... a lotz...

Yearn to Fly........

MaLaYSiA>>>De Land Of Cigarettes N Good Food

2005-05-06T14:01:00.000-07:00

Been so tired today...

Both of my frends r trying to drag me along to Malaysia... Felt kinda tired though. In de end i went with them with reluctance...
wow de queue is so long when we r waiting 4 de bus to go to malaysia... In de end we decided not to waste time n we decided to walk to de malaysia customs... It was sooo far!!! But maybe it helps trimming down my little pouchy tummy lolx...
We bought cigarettes n went to have supper as usual... 2 bad i went there with a full stomach, cant really stuff those food in lolx. De night streets in malaysia looked dangerous with a lot of thugs(as usual). But all i care is to enjoy n have fun :)
Wow tis is de 1st time i am checked by a customs officer when i got back to singapore. He thought i bought extra cigarettes or sumthing, luckily i was honest with him or else i will get myself in real deep trouble.
De tunnel to de singapore customs was a rather scary experience. Bats r lurking around. yucks!! jus hate them though. luckily my friends r tall n big, n i felt rather comfortable hiding behind their backs as they could block me fr de bats.( actually some of them were scared though lolx)
A sign of relief came when i finally reached home... Nothing feels better to be at home...;)

Yearn to fly :)

Bridge over trouble waters...

2005-05-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to do... been troubled over 2 girls... Both of them are nice... But i really hope they don't invest their feelings on me... its just not worth it... Really hope they will give their feelings to someone else... Going National service soon... dun wish to hurt them...
I am just like a wind, i would not stop for anybody... Would fly freely rather then being tied down...

Yearn to fly....

YeArN tO Fly...

2005-05-03T14:18:00.000-07:00

This is de 1st time i am using blogspot... Find that its kinda nice... Its already 5.20am in de morning... still cant get to sleep... Maybe i'm thinking of someone...
After she told me that she liked me, i found that actually i liked her a lot, but jux dun have de courage to tell her... maybe i had lose de courage in lov again...
I always had dreamt of flying since at a tender age. If i had de wings, de 1st place i wanna go is de niagara falls... de place is so beautiful.. flying on top of niagara falls........

Yearn to Fly